Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
