Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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