found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
