I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
