You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
