There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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