so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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