Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
