I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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