I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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