I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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