I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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