can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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