Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
