just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
