He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
