so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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