is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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