can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
