So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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