I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Green mimosas i think yes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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