It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
