I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
