It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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