I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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