you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
