I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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