he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
