I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
