im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
