yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's the barista slut.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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