singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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