walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Randomize
