I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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