we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
