So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The Olympian is in my bed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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