So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
