your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
