Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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