I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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