so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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