and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
