Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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