i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
