O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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