My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
