My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Enjoy the penises
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
