Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just want nice things and good sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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