Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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