I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
