where am i from again
4 words: hood of his car
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
