no, he came in my armpit
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize